Cozzachav _WRITES "Let us for a moment image that the British Isles are the sihouette of an old man. Scotland is his cap, Cornwall his toes, Anglia his curved spine making Dover his herpes infested shit-hole. When questioned, most people will remark that they have been through Dover but never stopped off "daaaaaaaaahn taaaaaaahn," as the city centre is known locally. Dover has been through many stages in it's development to reach it's present day chavley splendor.
From the heady days of the eighties tabacco boot-legging epidemic to the present day influx of Eastern European immigrant dole-sponges, {Folkestone rd - great for buying drugs and prostitutes but even worst than St Rads for quality of living and safety from thieves, drugs and violence} Dover has always enjoyed a vibrant multi-cultural atmosphere. During the eightees the sheer volume of scouse, benifit fraudsters earning a living buying and selling duty free tabacco, spirits and drugs boosted the local enconomy to such dizzying heights that various Liverpudlian customs and linguistic traits were adopted by the local folk. The ease at which these Northern chav brethrin were assimilated was partly due to their cutural similarity. Fighting, "gobbing," drinking in the street during the day and living off the state are all popular pass times in Liverpool I am reliably informed.
Dover already boasted a rich cultural heritage of it's own before these new arrivals. The annual Dover Paegant is the high-light on every Dovorian's calendar. Qauint customs such as pelting or "lozzing" copper coins at the Beauty Queens travelling atop the crate paper floats is heartily indulged by the audience.
New visitors to Dover may some times be surprised at the common occourance of physical deformaties among the local populace as is inbreeding in certain areas. One must bear in mind that there is an efluent out flow pipe located one mile from the popular local beach and that pregnacy among smoking teenagers is high above the national average. As one pregnant local teenager remarked whilst smoking a large skunk spliff, "yer weeel, I only gotta few weeks ta gow until I'm due, innit!"
Another local feature is the Paratroopers military base on Conaught hill. These pluky young boys enjoy a night out on the tiles fighting local chavs, knocking up local chavettes, simulating anal sex on the local dance floors and other such japery.
When my local town was featured on "Drunk Britain" it swelled my chest with pride.
A large number of Dovers unemployed and either heroin addicts or alcoholics, possibly driven to it by the way they are treated at the local jobcentre, i.e treated like 3rd class citizens.
So please if you're ever in the area and fancy a visit, pop down to Dover and sample some "culcha.""
St Radiguns {beaufoy and st rads rd}
Folkestone Rd {Slovak alley}
Buckland Estate {rabbit hutches}
Old Park Estate {bindon blood etc}
Dovers 2012 Olympic Cycle Champion
Ginger Politcal dude
Dover Town Mayor Candidate Georgie
Dovers Best X-Factor Contestant
Dover's Only Chance for 2012 Olympics
Dover Door/Security Staff
Dover Locals after an extremly heavy saturday night on the class A's and 30 pints of Stella each, this is midday sunday afternoon in a typical scenario from the market square, 'Note the blatant lack of coordination from both parties'.this is very common on sundays.
Dover Bloke on Tour {Pub Crawl} in nearby sunny Folkestone, note his choice of cider and common swagger from his manic intoxication, it has been said that a true dovorian can manage more than 12 hours of alcohol consumtion in one sitting.
